| 2003 • Volume 7 • Number 4 Build Responsibility - Gradually! What is the work of young adolescents? And what is the work of their parents and family at this time in their lives? Young adolescents are busy creating the experiences that will help them determine who they are as they move towards adulthood. Your job as a parent is not to stand back and watch, nor to strictly control so that children have no ownership of these experiences. Your job is to find that delicate balance between protection and freedom to help your children become thoughtful, well-rounded adults. What can you do to guide yet not suffocate them? Allow your son or daughter to plan and cook one meal each week for the family. This includes planning the menu, shopping for ingredients, preparing the food, AND cleaning up. Talk about what constitutes a healthy menu, family members' individual tastes and dietary needs, and budgetary and time constraints. Work with your child so he doesn't feel deserted. Let him make mistakes that won't cause any harm but will help him learn from the experience. You may wish to start out doing a few meals together so your child doesn't feel overwhelmed. Remember, this should be fun! For your next family vacation or weekend time, let your child plan part of the trip. Talk with her about your destination, financial concerns, and resources she may wish to use to research her ideas, e.g., the Internet, AAA, and friends who have been to similar places. This is a great way to teach time and financial management. Help your child learn to give back. Helping others can become a natural part of who he is. He may choose to do something with a parent who is already involved in a project-visiting an elderly friend, babysitting for a family who cannot afford childcare. He may want to initiate his very own project-raking a neighbor's yard or shoveling her walk, or reading to young children at a daycare center. It is easy for parents to overschedule their children with sports, lessons, and other activities to the point where children feel they have no time to help others. You can make a significant difference in your young adolescents' lives by loosening the schedule and allowing them to experience the wonderful feeling they get from giving back to their community. These are a few of the many ways you can help your young adolescents develop the skills and habits they will need to be successful adults. The learning should be gradual, fun, and meaningful. About the Editors: Edward Brazee is professor of middle level education at the University of Maine and Constance Carter is a service learning consultant who works with middle schools and high schools across the U.S. | 
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